Category Archives for "Tips"

Unless you’re a hermit living in a cave somewhere, you have interactions with others all day every day.  And what do those interactions produce?  Many times those interactions are very superficial, lacking quality and depth.  How many times has someone asked you, “how are you doing?” and instead of telling them how you really are doing, you say “Fine. How are you?”.  And that’s not to say that every person you meet has to know what things you are struggling with, but having someone you can go to when the proverbial shit hits the fan is vital to our wellbeing. So how do you cultivate connection?

Be Intentional

Connection is one of those basic needs that we can’t go without. It is as important as our need for food, water, and shelter. Without it, we fail to thrive in our lives. Unfortunately, we confuse contact for connection.

So, how can you be intentional?  Make a list of 3 people you want to connect with this coming week.  Instead of just liking their social media posts, pick up the phone and call them.  Invite them for lunch or coffee.  And don’t be on your phone the whole time. Look at them, and listen to what they have to say.  It may be a bit awkward at first, but keep doing it.  If one-on-one meetings are too intimidating, why not have a gathering of a few people.  A Girls’ Night Out may be just the thing to help you connect with your friends.

Be Present

There are so many distractions vying for your time and attention, and in order to get everything done, it seems like we need to multitask.  I used to be the queen of multitasking – chatting on the phone while doing other things.  And often I would get off the phone wondering what I had just talked about and what was said to me.  I was hearing, to make sure that I didn’t miss a part of the conversation that I was supposed to respond to, but I wasn’t listening.  My undivided attention was missing.  And what did that say about me? I was not valuing that interaction, that relationship, because I was hearing but not listening.  To deepen a relationship, you have to truly listen to another person.  That means giving your undivided attention. And if you are in their physical presence, you are turned toward the person, and looking them in the eyes.  You notice the nonverbal cues being displayed.  You engage and ask questions. And your goal is to listen to them…to understand, not to respond.

Be vulnerable

What mask do you wear for the world?  Are you sharing what you are truly feeling, or are you just putting on a “happy” mask?  Let’s get in our feelings.  Drake was being vulnerable when he asked Kiki if she loved him and was going to have his back no matter what.  Feeling safe in a relationship is a prerequisite for being vulnerable, but you also have to get over your inner mean girl telling you that your person “doesn’t want to hear about what you’re going through anyway”.  Who do you feel safe to be vulnerable with?

We were made for relationship, to interact with each other, celebrate and support each other throughout life. Connect with those special people in your life. And if you need help planning an awesome Girls Night Out , CLICK HERE and give me 15 minutes and I’ll give you a Girls’ Night Out they’ll be talking about for years to come!